Josh Gray

Ok, it’s another day and it has been a week and two days since Josh’s life has changed because of a massive stroke.  If you looked at Josh today you would know that something was a little off but you would never guess to what extreme.  The Gray family were told a week ago to never expect to see the son they once knew.  The chance of recovery was not realistic.  It would appear now that Josh has begun to prove them wrong.  He is moving forward to show that the medical profession needs to be challenged and proven wrong.  He wants to give the doctors an example of someone they can use as motivation and hope for another family that unfortunately may have to face the same challenges.  Here is a quick medical update on Josh’s condition.  Josh started out on aspirin everyday but when it was discovered that there was still some bleeding it was reduced substantially.  A hole was discovered in is heart that doctors feel may have contributed to the stroke but are not 100% sure.  This hole will most likely be repaired a week from today.  Blood work results are still not back.  He has had two MRI’s.  The technician doing the procedures has talked to Gary about what he sees as he doing the procedure.  He has been honest to say that this is a massive stroke and has affected a large part of the brain about one fifth.  To give you a comparison the technician said he usually sees strokes affecting about one eighth. Josh no longer has a catheter.  He has been fitted with a boot brace for his left foot so that it keeps the foot straight.  I believe he has also been measured for a hand brace for the left hand to prevent it from twisting, I can’t confirm that 100% right now. He has impressed, amazed and inspired everyone. 

Now for how far he has come in just a week.  Josh is now awake most of the day, mostly because he has to with all the therapy sessions he is constantly in and because he now has the energy to be awake.  He is able to drink and eat on his own but requires to be monitored for now.  He can stand on his own and walk with a walker with assistance. He can communicate with speech but at times is not always clear with what he is trying to express because of memory issues and confusion with the proper words.  He has a sense of humor and uses it every opportunity he can.  He enjoys watching his favorite movie, Nightmare Before Christmas. 

It is now Friday 6/19 and yes it was again assumed that it was going to be a less busy day then the day before.  Well, it couldn’t be more opposite.  First thing in the morning the family started to hear rumors from the nursing staff that Josh may be getting out of the hospital today.  The family knew that the day would come that Josh would be moved to a 24 hr. rehabilitation home but this wasn’t expected for a week or two maybe even longer.  They were able to get through some of the therapy for the day when it became official, they were told that Josh was being released and transported to his new home.  It was immediate, no notice, no time to prepare.  They had a facility in mind that they were told was fabulous and have seen incredible results.  Gary and Melody intended on visiting the facility in the near future but now their first visit was going to be with Josh.  All of the sudden they were told that they would be leaving in fifteen minutes this was around 2:00pm.  No time to go to the Ronald McDonald house and pack.  So Gary traveled with Josh while Melody went to the house and packed up things and met them at the new place.  It is called Casa Colina Rehabilitation Center in Pomona, you can look it up and visit the website.  They were told that it was a good time to check in because it was slower on the weekend and they would have two days to get adapted and familiar without the rush that goes on during the week.  Their arrival was definitely a shock from the hospital but they are optimistic and looking forward to the next journey.

Upon arrival it was a little culture shock.  There was no one really to give them a complete thorough orientation because it was the weekend.  They were surprised to find that the facility locks all doors at 8pm.  No one leaves or enters after that time.  It was harder for Gary because he had not eaten most of the day because of the hustle and bustle. He didn’t have a car to pop out to grab something because by the time they got settled it was close to 7:30pm and he had no means of transportation.  The facility doesn’t have accommodations for parents.  Only Gary was able to stay because Josh’s area is males only.  Josh was exhausted from the trip and slept from 7pm until he was awoken this morning for therapy.  He had all his therapy evaluations and did well as he has everyday.  He had another accomplishment in his new home he got out of bed and stood up on his own.  The therapists asked if he had ever done this before, Gary replied, “no”. It is obvious that Josh is showing off and is anxious to recover quickly so he can go home. Speech therapy is a little more challenging because of memory issues and confusion with word association but he is working hard. The family is sure Josh is looking forward to this new journey and the steps of becoming that much closer to a recovery that gets him home.  As I hear more I will definitely keep you posted about visiting hours, etc.  I hope that everyone will continue to visit Josh as it will definitely help with his recovery. I am just amazed because this time a week ago they didn’t expect Josh to be out of I.C.U yet.  Way to go Josh I think you are on your way to the Championships.  Love ya.

Thursday 6/18 started like most other days, the scheduling of speech, occupational and physical therapy.  The day is approached that maybe it won’t be as busy as the day before but as the sun comes up and Josh’s eyes open and it seems the day goes from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds.  Everyday requires the family to adapt to day to day changes or alterations from the day before.  It starts with attempting to meet the nurse and nurses aid for the first shift of the day.  They have found that each day and each shift is different from the day before.  It is never the same nurse or the same aid.  It is the family’s responsibility to educate each shift on Josh’s condition, care and needs.  This can sometimes appear challenging because every nurse or aid is different. Just like employees or children, some care to listen and some don’t care at all.  The family has been fortunate enough to have nurses and aids that care to listen and pay attention to Josh’s needs.

Josh started his occupational therapy by learning to get out of bed and using the walker to go from the bed to the hallway.  This can prove to be very exhausting and once he reaches the hallway it is time to take a momentary break and reenergize.  He sits in the wheelchair and takes a tour around the floor.   The hospital hallway wasn’t the only trip the wheelchair took Josh today.  Gary rolled Josh outside to experience the energy of life and harness that energy so he can use that to fight.  Josh went through his therapy sessions impressing everyone. It was my intention to make the visit this day because I wanted to see for myself Josh’s condition. Daily I was getting Josh reports from his dad Gary and as all of you have read they are pretty remarkable. As a parent I know that when are kids are hurt, we want them to get better and be better.  Anything we see can be encouraging to us as parents. But as parents we tend to see things through different glasses, some would say rose colored. I didn’t think it was fair to everyone if I wasn’t writing the truth about Josh’s condition and recovery; being honest realistic.  It was important for me to make another visit and make sure there was accuracy to what was being told. 

When I arrived at around 6:30pm it was nothing I expected and if anything I felt I was a little lied to but not in the sense of exaggeration but it was understated. I showed up just in time to see Josh eat some Chinese food.  It was embarrassing —– for me because I was so amazed by Josh that my mouth was open most of the time in amazement and I couldn’t stop staring at all the changes and improvements he had made.  I probably looked like I was trying to catch flies with my mouth open.  The difference from when I saw him last was remarkable.  He was wide awake, feeding himself, moving around watching a movie and communicating. I saw a teenage boy being a teenage boy looking as if he was in the hospital for something minor. He had his sense of humor and at every opportunity enjoyed using it on his mom and dad. I could see Josh again and it was glorifying.  Now were there changes from how Josh did all these things over a week ago to how he was doing them now, of course.  Eating was no longer a process that was just done, it requires thought, concentration and coordination.  He has to remember not to take big bites because the right side of his face is still paralyzed so opening his mouth big enough could be a problem.  Small bites are also necessary so he doesn’t choke because it is still not known how well his swallowing is.  Josh knows this but he has to be reminded. Can Josh speak, yes he can form some words and sounds.  This also isn’t as clear as you would think if you were to read something that said “Josh spoke”.  If you didn’t know Josh it may be difficult for you to know what Josh is saying but he is speaking it only requires you to give him your full attention and patience to know what it is that he is trying to tell you.  Because of the stroke words and expressing feelings can be confusing and twisted up in his mind.  So when he tries to tell you something it doesn’t necessarily come out the way he wanted it to or with the correct words. As for his movement he is moving his head as normal, moving his body up on the bed, his left side is moving around.  The right side doesn’t show any movement other then what is given to it by mom and dad when being massaged or moved for new placement.  However, I did witness a first on my visit.  Josh was sleeping and he completely rolled over to his left side for the first time.  One thing that was so incredible about this roll was that his left leg made it all the way over his right like you would expect.  But his right are was still twisted and hanging on his back side and had to be brought over by mom. But even with that it was an incredible thing to see. I left that night so proud of Josh, the family and the community for the prayers, love and strength that was spread and shared amongst everyone.  I also had the opportunity to see the Ronald McDonald house that Melody and Gary were staying at during Josh’s recovery.  It was breathtaking. I would never hesitate to donate to this charity.  It was definitely designed to make the families feel like they are at home and they supply so much.  There is a huge kitchen with all the amenities.  There is even community food that everyone can eat as well as baskets that you label and can store your own food in not only in cupboards but also in the refrigerator or freezer.  They offer washer and dryers and free soap.  There is a TV room, computer/study room, dining room, sitting area, sanctuary and many individual bedrooms that include a bathroom.  The only thing that you pay for in the facility coke from the coke machine but it is only twenty-five cents.  It was nice to see that they had a place to go and attempt to be comfortable and relaxed during such a stressful and demanding time.

I feel as though I have been invited to experience something so incredible and miraculous. It’s as if Josh’s journey is a gift of hope, strength and faith to all of us. I feel honored to be able to share with all you a day that we all thought wouldn’t be discussed for weeks maybe months or years from now.

Today, Wednesday 6/17 has proven to be an exhausting but successful day far beyond anyone’s expectations.  It started with occupational therapy.  The process began with getting Josh out of bed and into a wheelchair.  He was guided on how to get one foot out of bed and then the other and then getting himself out of bed.  This was therapy not only for Josh but the family as well because it required them to learn the process and assist with teaching and helping Josh.  He was then taken to the rehabilitation gym in the basement where they worked on upper body maneuvers.  Training the brain on receiving what the right side was doing.  This included moving a basketball from left to right and up and down.  Also showing him how to use the left hand to guide and help the right hand.  Therapy requires everyone’s participation and will become the responsibility of everyone as Josh grows, learns and moves on.

Josh returned to his room and had a short break prior to having his speech therapy.  During this session they worked on swallowing and eating solid foods.  This included eating a breakfast that consisted of egg mcmuffin, French toast, OJ and Gatorade.  The therapist feels Josh did so well with breakfast they felt comfortable having him try lunch. He did so well it was determined to have his feeding tube removed.  But wait the incredible accomplishments do not end here, there is more and it is mouth dropping. 

Shortly afterwards it was time for physical therapy.  This revolved around leg strengthening, learning to use the parallel bars.  Josh was able to make a couple of trips on the bars.  This was about teaching the right side of the brain what to do with the entire body.  It was very exhausting and Josh was asked several times if he wanted to continue and he enthusiastically responded with a “yes”.

I bet you thought the day would be slowing down and allowing not only Josh but the family to take a rest.  Well you are going to be surprised.  It was time for speech therapy again.  This time is was suppose to be about teaching Josh to communicate.  Mostly by pointing to pictures, using hand gestures, etc.  Suddenly just as the therapy began Josh decided this was going to take too long and he decided to fast forward the process.  He spoke; mom and dad heard his voice for the first time in a week.  Can you imagine the tears and the joy of this incredible accomplishment?  Can you guess what his first word was —- Lakers.  The speech therapist was surprised and didn’t want to slow his motivation down so it was decided to move forward in another direction.  They started him counting.  First “one” then “two”, Josh counted to ten.  Ok, lets keep it going now lets try the alphabet.  First, “a”, then “b”, but the success wasn’t as great as the first.  There was some confusion with letters and numbers and what he was thinking he was hearing.

As Gary told me this story I had no idea how I was going to express what he and Melody were feeling during this process.  I don’t think there are words to tell you what a magnificent accomplishment this is. 

I truly believe that the strength and support Josh has had at his bed side from his incredible parents has allowed Josh to absorb and apply the strength.  As a parent I can only imagine how proud and grateful they are to have been blessed with such a strong and confident young man.  As his dad said to me, Josh is so full of confidence right now and as long as he maintains that confidence there is nothing he can’t do.  That confidence has allowed him to go from just learning the basics to attending the advance class.  How courageous this young man and family are during this time.  It is from prayers, love and support that miracles truly do come from.  Thank you Josh for giving me something I didn’t know I had “Faith”.  What an angel you are.  Love ya.

It is a pleasure and honor to take you along Josh’s journey of recovery. Every visit received to this site or in person is strength passed on to Josh and the family. The road will be long and it is not taken lightly that it is going to present obstacles that sometimes may appear impossible to concur. That is where your prayers, love and support will make those obstacles crumble and the athlete and fighter we all know Josh to be will take on the challenge of any and all obstacles. Like any sports season there is a beginning a middle, playoffs and championships. The glory will be to have all of us by Josh’s side cheering and supporting him during his entire journey and holding him high above our shoulders like a champion. Every day will be a different experience, some good, some bad, some better and some worse. Regardless of the experience we will take all of you on the journey.  At times the information may be medically descriptive depending on the author and other times it may be simple but detailed.

Josh has been recruited to a new life a new beginning and it is expected that his new beginning start as soon as possible. Even though this may seem overwhelming to him and the family it is necessary for his recovery.  The rehabilitation has begun and there is no slowing down or stopping from this point forward. The most important thing for Josh and the family is a positive attitude and to appreciate and cherish every day’s accomplishments and failures. They are what we learn from and what gives us the ability to move forward to another day and to face different failures but more importantly to make new accomplishments. As we all know Josh has God by his side giving him love and strength to accept and conquer this new journey in his life. Knowing he is walking the path with him gives hope and faith that in no time we will be witness to an incredible journey with a miraculous conclusion.  We invite all of you to take this journey with Josh and to share your love and strength with him.  He loves you all and I for one feel blessed to know Josh and his family and am grateful for the joy and love they have brought to my life.

This is the latest on Josh’s condition from the last couple of days.  To start the exciting news Josh has been moved out of I.C.U.  This is a great thing but as the family is learning the care is definitely different then I.C.U.  Unfortunately, Gary found Josh wet this morning when he arrived and found that the staff neglected to change Josh since last night at 10pm when Gary did it last.  This has been addressed and hopefully we will not have to hear of this again.

On Monday 6/15, Josh had another MRI in which he had to be sedated. The procedure took about 45 mins. and 30 mins in recovery. The MRI revealed some swelling but it was at a standard level and the doctor was not concerned. There were signs of bleeding but this also was to be expected and not a concern. Normally a second MRI would not be ordered in this case but because of Josh’s age another one was done to confirm the brain was doing what it needed to do & everything was what they expected it to be.

On Tuesday 6/16, Josh had some extensive therapy and was awake much longer then he has been in the last couple of days. Some of the accomplishments in this day was he drank Gatorade from a cup taking it to his lips as well as sipping it from a straw. He ate chocolate ice cream; it was softened first and spooned for him and then he feed himself. This did cause a little bit of a brain freeze. He also ate Rice Crisps cereal; he spooned it himself and brought it to his mouth. All these things were done using his left hand. He also stood up out of bed with assistance. He was given a walker in which he used his left hand to hold. He took several steps. This was a team effort. He would move the walker with his left hand, he would then move his left foot and someone would then move his right foot for him. During the day as well as during his therapy, Josh is asked the level of his pain. A chart showing a pain scale is in his room as a reference point for him. Because of Josh’s condition his muscles get tense and tight. It requires them to be stretched and massaged 3 times a day. This is done by the family as well as the nurses. Good news is that there is discussion of maybe putting Josh in a wheel chair. The family is very excited about this but still not sure how close that goal is.  Update: shortly after writing that last sentence I was informed today Wednesday 6/17 that Josh has been in a wheelchair and going back and forth to the rehabilitation gym several times today and the family is very pleased and excited about moving forward. There will be more on this once we have checked in with the family.

The family is very pleased with the Ronald McDonald house. They would again like to extend their thanks to everyone who is visiting the website, visiting them in the hospital and sending their thoughts, prayers and love.

On 6/12/09 Gary was awaken by Josh’s alarm clock going off. He thought that Josh may have overslept and was late for school.Gary attempted to wake Josh without any success.With each attempt he just assumed Josh was in a deep sleep.He decided to take Josh to the shower to get him to wake up.  When Gary attempted to pick him up he noticed Josh tried to lift himself with his left hand while his right hand was clutched but limp up against his chest.At this point Gary knew something was wrong and placed Josh back down.He asked Josh if he had taken anything but got no response.He called the ambulance and they arrived within three minutes.The paramedics asked Gary if Josh did drugs.He told them that it has never been a problem and is completely out of his character but he was a teenager and he couldn’t be 100% sure.The paramedics told Gary they were going to give Josh a shot and if he took something he would respond.They administered the shot and received no response.Josh was rushed to the nearest hospital (Riverside County Regional Medical Center)in which he arrived at around 8:35am. Numerous tests were performed over an eleven hour timeframe. At approximately 4:00am the following day it had been determined that Josh had a stroke and needed to be transported to a hospital that could better monitor his condition as well as determine why it occurred and prevent another from happening.  After trying to find an available bed they were notified that CHOC’s Pediatric I.C.U had a bed and they would be transported around 6:30am.  Since Josh’s arrival at CHOC he has had hematology tests, MRI’s, Echocardiograms and many more. They have found the blood clot on the left side of the brain. The Gray family has been able to view the films of the brain and can clearly see how the blood is flowing to the right side of the brain and how dark the left side is because of the clot. It cannot be determined how deep the damage is but because of the mass area that has been affected it has been determined that Josh has suffered a massive stroke. They cannot and will not remove the clot because Josh will hemorhage.  He is currently receiving aspirin everyday to minimize the size of the clot and any inflammation in the brain. As Gary so gently explained one day: the brain is a very unforgiving membrane and when it is damaged or dead it is incapable of repairing itself, it does not heal. So for now it is one day at a time. Through the echocardiogram that Josh has had it was found that there is a hole in his heart. In speaking with Gary they don’t have all the details of the hole such as it’s exact location or how large, but they will be meeting with the doctors soon to follow up.  The doctors find that for now this is the only thing that seems reasonable to say had some contributory factor to the stroke. They will be repairing the hole but for now when that will happen is undetermined; it could be in a week or three to four weeks.  When they do go to repair the hole it is a fairly simple procedure.  Josh will be put under and they will make an incision through an artery in the thigh and a tube will go up to the heart and do the repair. This will be a permanent fix with little concern that it will return.
Currently, Josh has a feeding tube in his nose that goes to his stomach.  It is feeding him nutrients and proteins similar to a baby formula.  The formula will change to something more for an adult as the days go by.  Josh is currently receiving speech, occupational and physical therapy.  The speech therapist is determining the best way for Josh to communicate and if he will be able to eat on his own.  The occupational therapist is working with him to retrain the simple things such as brushing teeth, putting clothes on, etc. The physical therapist is working on the right side limbs and transmitting information to them so he can make them respond.  Josh is currently paralyzed on the right side and is unable to speak.  They are not quite sure if he understands what is being said or asked of him.  He will respond with head nods or squeezing the hand or thumbs up.  However, the answers are not consistent and not necessarily correct.  The family is currently awaiting the results of the hematology results which could be two to three weeks. They have also been receiving guidance on selecting a 24 hour rehabilitation home for Josh when the time comes. For the Gray family the days seem to be very long and sometimes challenging.  But they have stayed strong for Josh and each other.  They have had an overwhelming response of supporters.  The family and Josh enjoy and need the visitors.  Their spirit definitely changes when they are surrounded by friends and family.
The family now has a place at a Ronald McDonald house about a block east from the hospital that they can stay at.  This has a kitchen, two beds and other amenities to help them to be more comfortable.
As changes occur we will keep everyone posted.