Playing some tunes at Casa Colina
There is so much to be updated and I promise within the next couple of days to try to gather my notes and thoughts and get it all down so everyone can be caught up. But in the meantime this is a call out for any other help and support that can be given to Gary.
Josh was released yesterday which is a glorious thing in itself. It was a moment I don’t think Gary will ever forget. As Josh was walking out of the facility Gary looked at him and said, “Dude, look at you and what you have accomplished. Not too long ago you were rolled in here on a bed, and now you are walking out. You should be so proud.” This was a moment that I wish could have been like a movie and we could have had a group of people cheering him on as well as helping Gary gather and pack up all Josh’s things. But that is how the movies play out and realistically we all have commitments and lives to attend to so it is understandable. It was a moment shared only between father and son and I think that makes it so special. These two had a bond that was unbreakable before this happened and I know that bond is only stronger. I hope to put together a party for Josh inviting everyone to come for themselves to see his accomplishments and if you haven’t met him but have followed his story, to come meet him and experience the miracle first hand. Josh has read the blog and has been so touched by it and the outpour of love and support. He lights up when he is visited by friends, family and even strangers that care and are touched by his story.
I am sure none of us would ever want to expose our personal lives to the world that Gary has had to face the last two months. There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven’t spoken with Gary. Many times it has been hard for him and me both for different reasons. Gary faces so much and there are so many factors that have had such an impact on his life in many different ways. For me it is heartbreaking to see a friend struggle and be faced with so many obstacles and challenges without the resources to help him get through it and there is only so much I can do. I wish I could do more and I know I can’t. Gary’s friends have been so giving and caring. The prayers and generosity are more than he could have every expected and it has had such an impact on Josh’s recovery as well as giving strength to Gary at many times when he was ready to give up. Lately, things seem to be harder than others. There seems to be only so much any one person can deal with or handle. For some people things may be easier because they have a partner or teammate to get them through, support and work together with. Unfortunately, Gary doesn’t have that daily support, someone by his side helping him make decisions, working with him as a partner or teammate. It makes this journey that much more challenging. There isn’t enough time in the day to take care of all the necessary arrangements and work a full-time job that is the means to supporting life and well-being to him, Josh and the other children. Gary is an incredible parent and not once have I heard him complain or expect sympathy for his responsibilities as a parent or the time he spends with Josh or the other kids. On the contrary he looks forward to it and feels blessed to be able to spend every moment with them. But as a parent myself I require some “me” time to regroup and reenergize. It allows me to be a stronger parent and remain focused. I am lucky enough to be in a relationship that gives me that freedom. Gary, being the awesome dad that he is has been a parent 24/7, just as most of us would be or expect us to be. He is with Josh during the week and then gets his other two children on the weekend. When possible, he shares the weekend with Josh and the kids. Not always fun for the other two but they are coping. There have been times that it has been Gary and only the other two kids. We have been able to plan outings and activities that try to take our minds off of what the next week will hold or the other demands that are constantly knocking at Gary’s back door. Gary has not been able to commit 100% to work because of his obligations to Josh and his care. This has definitely taken an emotional drain on him because without being able to commit to work the financial hardship is becoming unbearable.
At this moment Gary struggles with trying to get answers from the TLC facility on when or if Josh will continue his daily therapy and the hours that it will require and how to make that happen and go to work. In addition, he has to find a way to get home care when Josh is not at therapy and he is at work. This is costly and with all other expenses this is not something that is even workable. I feel that all this stress is not healthy for Gary and I worry in time it will have an impact on his health that could change everything.
Everyone has given so much and Gary would not begin to ask for anything or any help from anyone. He does not know I am making this request or that I have written this blog. But I reach out to anyone who can assist Gary with the following.
Right now Gary’s car is driving with metal on metal for brakes. This is not safe for him to be transporting Josh back and forth and he is very nervous. He is doing his best to find out how to get them worked on but it has been a slow process. If anyone has any connections with an auto facility that would be willing to donate service or allow a payment plan this would be extremely helpful. If there is anyone who knows anyone that does special need care at a reasonable fee and could put Gary in contact with them. I know Gary can’t afford to move but if you know anyone that has a place or would be willing to do a roommate situation for a reasonable price and be flexible with the deposits; understanding that Gary does get his other two kids every weekend this may be willing to help him out. Right now Gary is unable to work enough hours to cover his living expenses because of his responsibilities for Josh, so any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have been so moved by Josh’s recovery process and his determination and the possibilities of how much worse it could have been or the doctors expected it to be that I feel the need to help any way I can. Gary would never ask for the help and I hope no one thinks less of him for me asking, as I said he has no idea. I want this family to be survivors and do what I can to make sure they hold it together for each other.
I understand this is asking a lot and with that I know not to expect a lot. But I have learned through this experience its ok to ask for help because with that even the smallest of assistance seems to make the largest impact. If nothing else to reach out again and ask for prayers for Gary to give him strength and guidance to get through this is the biggest gift of all. I know with this economy there are many of us faced with difficult times of our own and my prayers and love go out to you. I hope you have support and get through it with the help and love from family and friends. If you wouldn’t mind taking a moment to pray for Gary that in itself will be greatly appreciated.
Please feel free to contact me at r_shoaff@hotmail.com
Again, I promise to do an update on the last couple of weeks regarding Josh and his progress. What I can tell you is that I could never express in words the joy and happiness Josh had when he left Casa Colina to go home with his dad. Josh knew exactly what he was doing this whole time by working so hard and coming as far as he has. He wanted this moment and nothing was going to stop him. He wanted to go home and Josh made that happen. Good for you Josh. Thank you again to everyone.
