I Need Your Help, Guidance and Prayers

Playing some tunes at Casa Colina

There is so much to be updated and I promise within the next couple of days to try to gather my notes and thoughts and get it all down so everyone can be caught up. But in the meantime this is a call out for any other help and support that can be given to Gary.

Josh was released yesterday which is a glorious thing in itself. It was a moment I don’t think Gary will ever forget. As Josh was walking out of the facility Gary looked at him and said, “Dude, look at you and what you have accomplished. Not too long ago you were rolled in here on a bed, and now you are walking out. You should be so proud.” This was a moment that I wish could have been like a movie and we could have had a group of people cheering him on as well as helping Gary gather and pack up all Josh’s things. But that is how the movies play out and realistically we all have commitments and lives to attend to so it is understandable. It was a moment shared only between father and son and I think that makes it so special. These two had a bond that was unbreakable before this happened and I know that bond is only stronger. I hope to put together a party for Josh inviting everyone to come for themselves to see his accomplishments and if you haven’t met him but have followed his story, to come meet him and experience the miracle first hand. Josh has read the blog and has been so touched by it and the outpour of love and support.  He lights up when he is visited by friends, family and even strangers that care and are touched by his story.

I am sure none of us would ever want to expose our personal lives to the world that Gary has had to face the last two months.  There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven’t spoken with Gary. Many times it has been hard for him and me both for different reasons.  Gary faces so much and there are so many factors that have had such an impact on his life in many different ways.  For me it is heartbreaking to see a friend struggle and be faced with so many obstacles and challenges without the resources to help him get through it and there is only so much I can do.  I wish I could do more and I know I can’t.  Gary’s friends have been so giving and caring.  The prayers and generosity are more than he could have every expected and it has had such an impact on Josh’s recovery as well as giving strength to Gary at many times when he was ready to give up. Lately, things seem to be harder than others.  There seems to be only so much any one person can deal with or handle.  For some people things may be easier because they have a partner or teammate to get them through, support and work together with.  Unfortunately, Gary doesn’t have that daily support, someone by his side helping him make decisions, working with him as a partner or teammate. It makes this journey that much more challenging.  There isn’t enough time in the day to take care of all the necessary arrangements and work a full-time job that is the means to supporting life and well-being to him, Josh and the other children.  Gary is an incredible parent and not once have I heard him complain or expect sympathy for his responsibilities as a parent or the time he spends with Josh or the other kids. On the contrary he looks forward to it and feels blessed to be able to spend every moment with them. But as a parent myself I require some “me” time to regroup and reenergize.  It allows me to be a stronger parent and remain focused.  I am lucky enough to be in a relationship that gives me that freedom.  Gary, being the awesome dad that he is has been a parent 24/7, just as most of us would be or expect us to be.  He is with Josh during the week and then gets his other two children on the weekend.  When possible, he shares the weekend with Josh and the kids.  Not always fun for the other two but they are coping. There have been times that it has been Gary and only the other two kids.  We have been able to plan outings and activities that try to take our minds off of what the next week will hold or the other demands that are constantly knocking at Gary’s back door. Gary has not been able to commit 100% to work because of his obligations to Josh and his care. This has definitely taken an emotional drain on him because without being able to commit to work the financial hardship is becoming unbearable.

At this moment Gary struggles with trying to get answers from the TLC facility on when or if Josh will continue his daily therapy and the hours that it will require and how to make that happen and go to work. In addition, he has to find a way to get home care when Josh is not at therapy and he is at work.  This is costly and with all other expenses this is not something that is even workable. I feel that all this stress is not healthy for Gary and I worry in time it will have an impact on his health that could change everything.

Everyone has given so much and Gary would not begin to ask for anything or any help from anyone.  He does not know I am making this request or that I have written this blog. But I reach out to anyone who can assist Gary with the following.

Right now Gary’s car is driving with metal on metal for brakes.  This is not safe for him to be transporting Josh back and forth and he is very nervous.  He is doing his best to find out how to get them worked on but it has been a slow process.  If anyone has any connections with an auto facility that would be willing to donate service or allow a payment plan this would be extremely helpful. If there is anyone who knows anyone that does special need care at a reasonable fee and could put Gary in contact with them.  I know Gary can’t afford to move but if you know anyone that has a place or would be willing to do a roommate situation for a reasonable price and be flexible with the deposits; understanding that Gary does get his other two kids every weekend this may be willing to help him out. Right now Gary is unable to work enough hours to cover his living expenses because of his responsibilities for Josh, so any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  I have been so moved by Josh’s recovery process and his determination and the possibilities of how much worse it could have been or the doctors expected it to be that I feel the need to help any way I can.  Gary would never ask for the help and I hope no one thinks less of him for me asking, as I said he has no idea.  I want this family to be survivors and do what I can to make sure they hold it together for each other.

I understand this is asking a lot and with that I know not to expect a lot.  But I have learned through this experience its ok to ask for help because with that even the smallest of assistance seems to make the largest impact. If nothing else to reach out again and ask for prayers for Gary to give him strength and guidance to get through this is the biggest gift of all. I know with this economy there are many of us faced with difficult times of our own and my prayers and love go out to you.  I hope you have support and get through it with the help and love from family and friends. If you wouldn’t mind taking a moment to pray for Gary that in itself will be greatly appreciated.

Please feel free to contact me at r_shoaff@hotmail.com

Again, I promise to do an update on the last couple of weeks regarding Josh and his progress.  What I can tell you is that I could never express in words the joy and happiness Josh had when he left Casa Colina to go home with his dad.  Josh knew exactly what he was doing this whole time by working so hard and coming as far as he has.  He wanted this moment and nothing was going to stop him.  He wanted to go home and Josh made that happen.  Good for you Josh. Thank you again to everyone.

Lots To Report

Let’s not mess around with the mushy stuff or how I feel or go into how Josh is undoubtedly proof that we are all capable of making or being a miracle. I can tell you that through much of what I will tell you there were tears of joy shed while I witnessed the courage of Josh and what he has accomplished. What you need to know most is read until the end because the end holds the most exciting news of all that I just received this evening.
There has been a possible explanation as to what or why Josh may have had his stroke. A rehabilitation doctor at Casa Colina said that at some moment Josh probably had some swelling in his leg and it might not have been noticeable. When the doctor mentioned this Gary recalled something that happened about a week or so before the incident. Josh had come home from basketball practice and told his dad that he got hit in his leg. It caused enough discomfort that he iced it for about a week. Shortly after this injury Josh suffered his stroke. The doctor explained most likely the hit to the leg caused a clot. Normally this would not be a problem. The clot would move to the heart and be filtered to the lung and dissolve (this is in a normal situation without complications). In Josh’s case when the clot reached the heart it was sent in another direction towards the brain because of the two holes in the heart. There is no definite confirmation that this is actually what happened, but the pieces seem to match pretty close. This helped to put some closure on the question of why this might have happened.
Since Josh’s arrival at Casa Colina he has made the best of every moment and you would think he was in a training camp and preparing for the new season. He has had some entertaining roommates and has moved rooms since he has arrived. Josh has a very busy schedule. He has therapy all day Monday thru Friday which he conquers with his mom by his side daily. His dad is there if work permits. During the evening his dad spends the early evenings catching up on his daily accomplishments as well as chit chatting, playing games and/or watching T.V. He then spends the night on a cot next to Josh’s bed. During the weekends both mom and dad work in shifts spending time with Josh and finding new and fun things to do. It is a very exhausting schedule and at times appears to put a lot of pressure on the entire family. Sometimes tragic accidents can either bring a family closer together or push them apart. The Gray family is doing the best they can but definitely not without the challenges of the new demands in their life and the impact it has on everyone’s life. During this journey I have asked that we all pray for Josh and his recovery. I would like us to remember to extend our prayers to the family to give them strength, patience, understanding and compassion towards each other. To support each other and not to allow any of the obstacles they are going through pull them apart. The success for Josh’s full recovery will be hugely based on the family as a team and the support they give each other.
I have visited Josh twice since he has been at Casa and each time has been a remarkable experience and something I will never forget. Two weeks ago my family and I made our first visit. We didn’t know what to expect and from the moment we arrived it was nothing less than incredible. He was so excited to have visitors and he expressed this with a huge smile and a loud groan of happiness. As soon as we arrived he wanted out of his bed immediately. He was so proud of himself to show his dad that he had dressed himself. We went out to the courtyard where Josh showed us for the first time one of his favorite pass times; throwing pennies in the fountain. He was so excited and had a great time doing this. We then sat outside and played twenty-one with Josh and the kids. Josh dealt the cards and was able to count his cards on his own. It was very impressive to watch. We moved into the family room where Josh and his mom played dominos most of the time. They had a great time. Josh wasn’t winning but he was doing his best to try. The facility is beautiful and it was great to see how well taken care of Josh is. Josh is talking but there are still challenges. His sentences range from one to five words but there is confussion of expressing himself with the correct words as well as completely understanding what is being said to him. But everyday you see more and he says more. It melts your heart.
After my first visit as most of you know we started the pledge “Pennies for Josh” so that him and his family would not have to worry about their supply of pennies and just sit and enjoy the pass time of watching Josh do something that brought him so much happiness. The penny gathering was a huge success and we still have pennies coming in. This last weekend the kids and I went to visit Josh again. This was a great day. We took Josh his pennies and he loved them. It was a good size jug and a lot of pennies. Rumor had it that Josh may be released on the 16th so it looked like there were plenty of pennies to get him through. Josh’s dad got permission to take Josh off the premises. It wasn’t as easy as we had hoped. By the time he got an answer they told him he could leave but had to be back by 1:00pm for a physical therapy session. It was now 12:15pm. We wasted no time and we all walked and wheeled Josh across the street to Farmers Burger place and had some lunch. It was so great to have Josh with us. We returned by 1pm. While Josh was in PT the kids and I waited in the family room playing cards. Suddenly Gary came to the room and told me he needed me right away. I was worried and said, “of course, what is wrong”. Gary explained to me that I had been there from the beginning and it was important to him that I be witnessed to this. As I walked into the PT room I saw Josh walking the room with a cane and his proud bother Nate recording every step. It was so remarkable that it instantly brought tears of joy to my eyes. It is one thing to be told of Josh’s accomplishments but it is something indescribable to witness it yourself. I can’t explain what I felt but to start I was definitely honored. As soon as Josh was done we had a surprise for him. The kids had filled up a bunch of water balloons and we took him outside for a water balloon fight or should I say toss. Josh was the guest of honor. The kids wanted so badly to throw water balloons at each other but Josh had all the control. So if they wanted to throw water balloons they had to catch a balloon that Josh tossed out to them. This was highly entertaining and everyone had such a good time. He has definitely developed the use of his left arm. We have it on video and will post it shortly. The day ended on that good note. Josh had a very exciting weekend that weekend. I later found out that the day prior to our visit Josh’s mom and other family members got a day pass and took Josh to Scandia and the mall. He spent the day playing arcade games and window shopping. I am sure this was an exciting and extremely fun day. When I was told of this day I just couldn’t stop thinking about how much Josh must have been smiling through the day to be out in the world and enjoying it especially with his mom and family. It is days like that which will never be forgotten and will have a positive inspiration to his recovery.
Since the weekend it has been a day by day uncertainty of when or where Josh will go. The rumor was he would be leaving on the 16th to the Transitional Living Center. The family was excited but scared. They had not received any training on how to do certain things for Josh. Arrangements had not been definite for who would care for Josh. They were told that the TLC would not allow Josh to live there 24/7 because he was a minor. They said they had a place on the side of the building that the family could park a RV and stay over night. The problem was they didn’t have a RV. Josh’s treatment would be six hours a day. He would need to be there at nine and picked up by five. With work schedules and the family living fifty miles away this proved to be challenging. There was a lot to consider and much to arrange in a very short period of time.
As of yesterday they had not heard anything but I did get a touching phone call from Gary. He told me that when he arrived he asked Josh how his day was, Josh yelled out enthusiastically “GOOD”. Then Gary asked him how is your right arm, Josh yelled out again “GOOD”. Gary unsure what this meant asked Josh if he moved his right arm, Josh said yes. His dad asked to see. Gary described the movement as slight more of the shoulder lifting the arm slightly like a shrug. But he said you can tell that he was telling his brain to tell his arm to move and it was exciting.
Today the family received some answers on what direction they were heading. The Gray family is considering a rehabilitation center in Loma Linda. If this takes place they will allow Josh to stay at Casa for two more weeks while the family finalizes the arrangements. There are a lot of things to consider and this has become overwhelming and very stressful but the family is holding strong. If Josh is moved it may be only therapy three days a week. Consideration has to be given to how will Josh get there and back. Who will care for Josh at home? How do they make arrangements with the school district for the upcoming year? How do they do all this and work? They are doing the best they can and I know they will get through strong just as they have through everything else. Now for the big news! After Gary gave me the update he called me back and told me I wouldn’t believe what he was looking at. He said Josh was walking without a cane, he was solo all on his own. He then said he was standing and him and Josh were playing catch; but that isn’t all. He told me that Josh was moving his right arm up to his heart. I have said it before and I will say it again and end this update with this word. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moved

Just wanted everyone to know that Josh has moved from room to another. He is now in room #1209 and his room ext. is 3763. There is so much to tell everyone but unfortunately I must get some work done first. Great news but also stressful news for the Gray family, they have been informed that Josh may be released from the rehabilation center as early as this Friday the 16th. The plan was for him to move to the TLC (Transitional Living Center) that is located just behind where he is living now. Unfortunately, they have been told that the center cannot accomodate a minor to live there 24/7. This would mean Josh would have to be dropped off at 9am and picked up at 5pm everyday. This is definitely going to be a challenge for the Gray family. It is currently a 50 mile drive from home to the center and then there are work hours to consider. The facility has told them that there is an area they could park an RV on the facility property that has hook ups and everything so they could stay there overnight with Josh instead of traveling back and forth. This is something they are considering however they do not have an RV. If there is anyone out there that has an RV they are willing to allow the Gray family to borrow for a short period it would really help out. I know this is a lot to ask and I understand that it is the summer time and many people are using their RV’s and understandably it may seem a little wierd to allow them to use it. There is a lot the family has to prepare for and very little time to do it in. With the medical bills starting to come in and now the new challenge of care for Josh things seem to be a little overwhelming. However, they will take it considering it all means that Josh is progressing beyond what all the doctors thought he would be. Thank you again to everyone for your prayers and comments. They do reach the family. Thank you for the penny donations and the money donations. They are greatly appreciated and very helpful during this period. Please feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions or would like to help in other ways at r_shoaff@hotmail.com (my name is Raecene Shoaff).

Pennies for Josh

Hello All,

Went and saw Josh this weekend, spent about three hours visiting. He was so excited to have visitors. It was an incredible experience and I will definitely be updating the website with the details and more pictures and video.

I am reaching out to you because we saw something so fun and exciting during our visit. Not only was it amazing to watch but it was wonderful to see the happiness in Josh’s face.

Josh took us outside to the courtyard where there is a nice size water fountain. He showed us how much he enjoys throwing pennies in the fountain. Of course always pushing for the best he wasn’t satisfied unless he got it in the top section of the fountain. You could definitely see his talents as a basketball player come out. After we left I got an idea to collect pennies for Josh. I thought how exciting it would be for him if he received a jar full of pennies to throw in the fountain. Josh may be moving to another facility (I will definitely write about later) and would love to be able to deliver pennies to him in the next seven to ten days. If you are interested please drop off whatever you would like small or big at our home – just give me a call at 714-310-1392 and I will give you the address. If we are not home you can drop it in our mail slot that goes directly into our house. Put the pennies in a ziploc bag with your name on it. I would really like to get enough to fill a medium size jar or bigger. If you would rather I pick them up from you, I am definitely willing, just let me know.

Thank you for all your prayers and support.

Raecene Shoaff




Bad Behavior has blocked 574 access attempts in the last 7 days.