Josh Gray

Josh and Joey have something very unique in common and can relate to each other in ways not many people can at their age. Both boys suffered a massive stroke at the age of 16 and saw their lives changed instantly. We met Joey Vitulli and his family Michelle, David, Nick, and Alexis at their home in Corona after his mother, Michelle, read Josh’s story in the Press-Enterprise newspaper. Michelle reached out to us with compassion and a true understanding of our new found life. Our entire visit was filled with related stories and experiences in doctors, hospitals, rehabilitation, and our own reaction and feelings.

Joey recently celebrated his 19 birthday this month and nearing his third year recovering from a massive stroke that affected 1/3 of this brain. With consistent hard work and the same determination he carried playing high school sports, Joey has made a remarkable comeback in all areas. Josh and I couldn’t complement Joey enough on how well he looked and seemed to us. You would never know this young man’s injury by his appearance or his personality. Seeing Joey and hearing his testimony is what ministered to Josh and me the most. We got a glimpse into Josh’s future and what we might expect as we move forward in his life. Throughout the evening Joey would encourage Josh to not give up, keep working hard, and never lose sight of God. The family shared with us the first two years after the injury would be the toughest and most crucial in Josh’s recovery. After that, things would get a little easier from day to day. Joey has since graduated high school and is now enrolled in college. One of the biggest questions Josh had for Joey was, “do you have your driver’s license?” Joey proudly admitted he does, and drives all around town. Hearing this news lit Josh like a party favor and made his day even brighter. Josh realized the possibility of driving someday could be soon. Like most teenagers who want their driver’s license, Josh is no different. Eagerly awaiting the opportunity and freedom driving has to offer. After a short time with our new friends, it seemed apparent some frustration was lifted from Josh, in meeting someone who survived and made it through an incident like his. On occasion during the last 9 months the question had been asked, “why me” and “am I the only one?” Thanks to Joey and his family we can answer some of those difficult questions and look forward to a successful and bright future. It was an amazing night of ministry for both families, a Divine appointment for sure. What a blessing for Josh to have new friends who traveled the same road before him and have a desire to share their experience and encourage his journey.

I've been working on my smile. Can you tell?

Tuesday March 2 was a big night for Josh. This was his first live Lakers game at Staples Center. If you’ve followed his story, you may recall his first word after having a stroke was “Lakers” which describe how important this team is to him. The night before the game he could hardly sleep. He said he tossed and turned thinking about the game and what he could expect. At school he was dressed in his official Lakers jersey and spread the news to all who would hear that he was going to watch the Lakers that evening. The ride to Staples Center was quiet but you could see how fidgety he was with anticipation. Tapping his foot on the floorboard and rocking back and forth in the seat with a constant smile on his face. He said more than once “I can’t wait. Are we almost there?” As we arrived, his eyes got bigger and bigger at the sight of the arena. We got there early with time to roam around Nokia plaza and experience the lights and glitter of the quad. It was like a child’s first visit to Disneyland. I stood back and watch Josh take in the experience. Josh’s level of recovery was evident in his ability to process all the activity that surrounded the busy entertainment environment. He took it all in without missing a beat. We took pictures and yelped and howled as we waited to enter the building. At six o’clock they opened the doors and began letting the crowd inside. “This is it!” he said. It was time. We gave our tickets at the door and Josh asked if we’re officially in. The ticket taker responded with “yes you are” and Josh let out a loud YES just within the doors. He had arrived at the famed arena where his beloved team plays the game he’s so passionate about. He said “I can hardly breathe I’m so excited.” I could see him panting as we passed through the curtain and got a view of the court for the first time. He just stood and starred. This alone was a big moment for him.

We enjoyed the game as we always do, loud and proud to be Lakers fans. Josh had no problem getting in and out of his seat to yell for his team throughout the entire game. I can say that I’ve never seen him so thrilled and wide-eyed since his injury last June. During the game, we had the pleasure of meeting and enjoying the event with our new friends from Verizon, who were responsible for giving Josh the opportunity to be there. Shyra Arrington and her daughters Shanera and Soriah offered Josh the tickets after reading his story in the newspaper a week ago. Shanera and Soriah are schoolmates with Josh and were so inspired by his story they wanted to give Josh this gift. While at the game, our friends from Verizon gave Josh a Lakers hat and shirt and lots of love for the inspiration he gave them.

Josh and his family would like to thank Shyra, Shanera, and Soriah and our fan mates from Verizon for an amazing evening with the Lakers. Also, we would like to thank the Los Angeles Lakers for a resounding 122-99 win over the Indiana Pacers during Josh’s first of many pro basketball games.

As the story broke in the newspaper Tuesday, Josh awoke that morning hearing his story was out in print. We stopped at the store on the way to school, picked up several copies and began reading the headline article. I asked Josh what he thought of the story. He returned a big smile on his face and said “YES, very cool”.

At the end of the day I asked the big question: How was your day at school? “It was awesome!” Josh described his first period as being pretty exciting. As Josh walked into class, his teacher announced him as Superstar. The other students were busy reading the article about their classmate. Many of them didn’t know the severity of his injury until reading the paper. Some didn’t realize he had a stroke at all.

As the day went on and the news spread on campus, more and more students asked if he was the one in the paper. He said “I met some new friends, many I’ve never seen before”. Admin staff, students, cafe crew, and security guards all expressed their sorrow for his situation but praised his comeback and current state. Some even suggested a movie should be made about his story. One teacher cut the article out and placed it on the classroom wall.

“It’s been fun. Everyone treated me really well, especially this week. I even got a free bag of chips and a drink”.

Press-Enterprise Cover story article was published on their website…

Stroke can’t stop a Comeback kid

By LAURIE LUCAS
The Press-Enterprise

 

 Comeback Kid [6:47m]: Play Now | Play in Popup

Click to go to front page story...

Terry Pierson / The Press-Enterprise

_________________________________________________________

So, go ahead… click the above link and and read the wonderful story by Laurie Lucas… and take a look at the awesome Terry Pierson photos, then come back here and leave your comments…

Josh returns to the basketball team.

Josh’s high school basketball team played their last game of the season. Unfortunately the season ended with a loss in the CIF playoffs. Essentially it was Josh’s last game of his high school career as a player. I asked him what it felt like when he realized this was his last game. He said “It feels empty. Kinda sad, kinda happy. I wish I could have been in the game for my guys so we could see another game at home. It feels weird knowing there’s no more practice.”  Since the basketball team began their season this year, Josh had attended practices and sat on the bench with his team each game whether home or away. Rooting and cheering for his guys on the floor and keeping an upbeat attitude on the sidelines, Josh realized how important a role he can play for his team without handling the ball. He high-fived each player coming in or out of the game and was a loud voice in the huddle.

Some exciting moments for me as Dad were to see Josh on the floor with the team during warm-ups, before the game and at halftime. He would set defense for the team as they took their warm-up shots and tossed encouragement during their drills. Crouched down, left hand in the air, and  focus in his eyes, Josh showed us how serious he was. He proved to himself and his teammates, though he suffered a stroke, he could still play this game with passion and have a purpose on the team. At the beginning of the final game, the seniors were recognized in front of the croud. As Josh’s name was announced, he was surprized to hear his name but stood and began walking to shake the coaches hands. His teamates and those around stood and clapped for Josh arousingly as he took his steps.

It was absolutely a thrill to see my kid back in the gym, on the basketball court, with a smile on his face. Considering all he has endured amid this injury, the moments were priceless and difficult to hold back tears. Thank you to the Valley View Eagles Basketball team and Coach Long for their support and understanding this season.

This is very exciting news! Today Josh met with a reporter from Press-Enterprise newspaper for his story. They got wind of Josh’s story from the folks at Casa Colina as a wonderful human interest story. The reporter asked questions of Josh, Dad, and Mom regarding the history of Josh’s injury and the success of his recovery. Wow, what a big moment for the wonderful teenager. They also took many pictures of Josh and his family members doing various day to day activities. The story is scheduled to break in print and on their web site sometime during the week of Feb 15 through Feb 20. We will keep you posted with a link to the article when it breaks.

To say the least, Josh was nervous in giving an interview as any of us would be. He certainly conducted himself professionally and gave a candid interview along with Dad, Mom, brother, and sister. Can’t wait to see the final piece. It’s great to see the public interest in Josh and his triumphant journey through a tragic moment in his young life. He, as well as all of us, hope his story will be inspiring and energetic to all readers and those who are overcoming unforseen tradgeties.

Please send us your comments and keep in touch with your thoughts. Josh and all of us appreciate your warm input.

We’ll keep ya posted with more. . .

Also, please check out our photos page for recent pix of Josh and those around him.

Josh working hard at rehab.

Goals played a very important role in Josh’s rehabilitation. I say this because Josh has proudly reached each goal we’ve set throughout this journey. We started with goals that would be obvious to notice when it was reached. Such as, moving out of the ICU at CHOC hospital to a regular room on a lower floor. Then it was getting out of the medical hospital and moving to the rehabilitation hospital. That was big! But each goal was big. All the goals had been preparation for one big goal. To get back on school campus as a senior in High School and graduate with his class! He had to walk with a certain level of comfort ability, speak and understand conversations, and regain a level of independence in order to get back to school.

I am proud to report Joshua has returned to his Valley View High School campus on January 11, 2010. Seven months after his injury to complete his second and final semester as a Senior. He is enrolled as a full-time student spending a full day on campus with his friends. Big, big stuff and well done.

Feel'n good

It’s birthday time! Joshua turned 17 on September 2. What a time to celebrate this kid’s life. To ring in the special occasion and considering all that happened this summer, we took on the trills of Magic Mountain. For the first time Josh, Dad, Nathan, Taylor, and some new friends spent the day at the popular theme park. A fun day indeed! He enjoyed many of the attractions throughout the park with Dad moving him around via wheelchair. Although he is walking very well and continues to improve, we agreed using a wheelchair would be wise to enjoy a full day at the park. Many rides allowed him to move to the front of the line with his wheelchair access. That was cool and so was the water rides on a hot September day. If that wasn’t enough, Josh requested to eat at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles in Pasadena. So we did and it was good! Happy Birthday Sport!!

Joshua completed the TLC program at Casa Colina with flying colors this month. His therapist all agree the progress made during these grueling sessions has paid off with significant benefits. Joshua’s moving side to side back and forth and up and down at his waist with balance and confidence. He is able to move his right arm with better control. The right hand still continues to not respond as quickly as the other areas, but we remain hopeful. He will now go on with his therapy at Casa Colina’s Outpatient facility. Another step up on his journey where the intense rehab process is reduced to an hour a day one discipline per day. He continues his class time early in the morning then it’s off to therapy. While his parents are working, many friends and family have stepped up providing Josh with a place to go after therapy and be with company and assistance. People such as: Grandfather Corrie Gray, Aunt Trish and Uncle John, the Shoaff family, and the Purington family to name a few. Let us thank you and share our sincere appreciation for the assistance and time you provide. We couldn’t continue without you. He also got to spend time with Dad at the office on occasion being the boss and doing homework. We continue with the electro-stimulant therapy usually in the afternoon on his right arm and right leg trying to promote activity and communication with the brain.

The kid still holds a full day with a great smile and great attitude.

Joshua continues his triumphant recovery. He endures a busy day starting with school. Kids began the school year this month in our area and so did Josh. Through a program called Home Hospital, our school district arranged for a teacher to come to the house and instruct Josh on his subjects. This has been a great idea with preparing Josh to return to school. The one-on-one attention with his teacher, Kim Devine, has been working well .The class lineup is the same subjects taught on campus and will keep him on course to graduate with his class in June 2010. Now, this kid is tough and it’s easy to understand why he is such an inspiration. His class starts at 5:30 a.m. and ends at 6:30 a.m. In that hour he covers five courses and has a few hours of homework every day. After class time, he gets a shower, dressed, packs his homework, and it’s off in the car to therapy. His therapy is with the Transitional Living Center (TLC) at Casa Colina. This program continues the aggressive rehabilitation methods used in the in-patient program, just for more hours a day. Now he’s in therapy six hours a day working on all three disciplines, Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapies. Two hours a day for each therapy is a lot, and along with school, the kid has a busy day. He’s keeping in stride with it all and with time to chat on the phone with friends.

Playing some tunes at Casa Colina

There is so much to be updated and I promise within the next couple of days to try to gather my notes and thoughts and get it all down so everyone can be caught up. But in the meantime this is a call out for any other help and support that can be given to Gary.

Josh was released yesterday which is a glorious thing in itself. It was a moment I don’t think Gary will ever forget. As Josh was walking out of the facility Gary looked at him and said, “Dude, look at you and what you have accomplished. Not too long ago you were rolled in here on a bed, and now you are walking out. You should be so proud.” This was a moment that I wish could have been like a movie and we could have had a group of people cheering him on as well as helping Gary gather and pack up all Josh’s things. But that is how the movies play out and realistically we all have commitments and lives to attend to so it is understandable. It was a moment shared only between father and son and I think that makes it so special. These two had a bond that was unbreakable before this happened and I know that bond is only stronger. I hope to put together a party for Josh inviting everyone to come for themselves to see his accomplishments and if you haven’t met him but have followed his story, to come meet him and experience the miracle first hand. Josh has read the blog and has been so touched by it and the outpour of love and support.  He lights up when he is visited by friends, family and even strangers that care and are touched by his story.

I am sure none of us would ever want to expose our personal lives to the world that Gary has had to face the last two months.  There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven’t spoken with Gary. Many times it has been hard for him and me both for different reasons.  Gary faces so much and there are so many factors that have had such an impact on his life in many different ways.  For me it is heartbreaking to see a friend struggle and be faced with so many obstacles and challenges without the resources to help him get through it and there is only so much I can do.  I wish I could do more and I know I can’t.  Gary’s friends have been so giving and caring.  The prayers and generosity are more than he could have every expected and it has had such an impact on Josh’s recovery as well as giving strength to Gary at many times when he was ready to give up. Lately, things seem to be harder than others.  There seems to be only so much any one person can deal with or handle.  For some people things may be easier because they have a partner or teammate to get them through, support and work together with.  Unfortunately, Gary doesn’t have that daily support, someone by his side helping him make decisions, working with him as a partner or teammate. It makes this journey that much more challenging.  There isn’t enough time in the day to take care of all the necessary arrangements and work a full-time job that is the means to supporting life and well-being to him, Josh and the other children.  Gary is an incredible parent and not once have I heard him complain or expect sympathy for his responsibilities as a parent or the time he spends with Josh or the other kids. On the contrary he looks forward to it and feels blessed to be able to spend every moment with them. But as a parent myself I require some “me” time to regroup and reenergize.  It allows me to be a stronger parent and remain focused.  I am lucky enough to be in a relationship that gives me that freedom.  Gary, being the awesome dad that he is has been a parent 24/7, just as most of us would be or expect us to be.  He is with Josh during the week and then gets his other two children on the weekend.  When possible, he shares the weekend with Josh and the kids.  Not always fun for the other two but they are coping. There have been times that it has been Gary and only the other two kids.  We have been able to plan outings and activities that try to take our minds off of what the next week will hold or the other demands that are constantly knocking at Gary’s back door. Gary has not been able to commit 100% to work because of his obligations to Josh and his care. This has definitely taken an emotional drain on him because without being able to commit to work the financial hardship is becoming unbearable.

At this moment Gary struggles with trying to get answers from the TLC facility on when or if Josh will continue his daily therapy and the hours that it will require and how to make that happen and go to work. In addition, he has to find a way to get home care when Josh is not at therapy and he is at work.  This is costly and with all other expenses this is not something that is even workable. I feel that all this stress is not healthy for Gary and I worry in time it will have an impact on his health that could change everything.

Everyone has given so much and Gary would not begin to ask for anything or any help from anyone.  He does not know I am making this request or that I have written this blog. But I reach out to anyone who can assist Gary with the following.

Right now Gary’s car is driving with metal on metal for brakes.  This is not safe for him to be transporting Josh back and forth and he is very nervous.  He is doing his best to find out how to get them worked on but it has been a slow process.  If anyone has any connections with an auto facility that would be willing to donate service or allow a payment plan this would be extremely helpful. If there is anyone who knows anyone that does special need care at a reasonable fee and could put Gary in contact with them.  I know Gary can’t afford to move but if you know anyone that has a place or would be willing to do a roommate situation for a reasonable price and be flexible with the deposits; understanding that Gary does get his other two kids every weekend this may be willing to help him out. Right now Gary is unable to work enough hours to cover his living expenses because of his responsibilities for Josh, so any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  I have been so moved by Josh’s recovery process and his determination and the possibilities of how much worse it could have been or the doctors expected it to be that I feel the need to help any way I can.  Gary would never ask for the help and I hope no one thinks less of him for me asking, as I said he has no idea.  I want this family to be survivors and do what I can to make sure they hold it together for each other.

I understand this is asking a lot and with that I know not to expect a lot.  But I have learned through this experience its ok to ask for help because with that even the smallest of assistance seems to make the largest impact. If nothing else to reach out again and ask for prayers for Gary to give him strength and guidance to get through this is the biggest gift of all. I know with this economy there are many of us faced with difficult times of our own and my prayers and love go out to you.  I hope you have support and get through it with the help and love from family and friends. If you wouldn’t mind taking a moment to pray for Gary that in itself will be greatly appreciated.

Please feel free to contact me at r_shoaff@hotmail.com

Again, I promise to do an update on the last couple of weeks regarding Josh and his progress.  What I can tell you is that I could never express in words the joy and happiness Josh had when he left Casa Colina to go home with his dad.  Josh knew exactly what he was doing this whole time by working so hard and coming as far as he has.  He wanted this moment and nothing was going to stop him.  He wanted to go home and Josh made that happen.  Good for you Josh. Thank you again to everyone.